Find my family

Discussion in 'General Talk' started by soup, May 12, 2014.

  1. soup

    soup State of Origin Rep

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    I'm slightly conflicted in posting this, especially in its own new thread, but I feel it's time to try to reconnect with a lost family member - namely my biological father. With my upcoming child due in October, a missing piece feels like it needs to be found and resolved.

    Can anyone help in any way, whether it be through technology, organisations, experience or association?

    I have a couple of details that may help in my quest:

    His name is Andrew; the spelling of his first name, I'm unsure of. It could be Andre, Andrzej, ...?

    He is/was about 7-8 years older than my mother, which would make him about 62-65ish now and was an architect/draftsman/similar in Toowoomba, Cairns and the Gold Coast. He was the chief draftsman for Telecom in Toowoomba in 1978 - I was born in May of 1979. He migrated to Australia from Poland before this (possibly as a child/adolescent with a parent) and from what my mother has told me, he was very secretive; carrying around a locked briefcase everywhere he went with many of his peers very curious as to its contents. EDITED. In 1978, he left Toowoomba and moved to Cairns and at some stage, he moved to the Gold Coast. He didn't buy and develop Chevron Island as I first thought. He already owned a house (a typical Queenslander style timber house) before my mum met him. When he took mum to the Gold Coast, she wasn't allowed to go into the house, which leads me to believe that his soon to be ex-wife may have resided there. Im now suspicious that I may also have an older sibling, potentially up to 45 years old, currently.

    EDITED. I know this as my mother and I checked the white pages irregularly as I was growing up. Coincidentally or subconsciously, I ended up living 3 houses away from him when I was about 22/23 and I did keep an eye out for him once I realised. There was a day when I walked past his house and he (I think) was in his front yard. I wanted to do something but I was like a deer in headlights and the moment passed. I always wanted to wait until I was proud of myself and where I was in life before initiating contact. Unfortunately, in the past few years he has left that address and I cannot find a contact entry for him anymore.

    He remarried or potentially went back to his old wife (ruling nothing out) and I know I have at least one or two half-brothers (possibly more and a sister?) but have never met them and through many degrees of separation, I know that they are lovely blokes. They may still be living in the area. I was always very conflicted about contacting them as they don't deserve the shock of me contacting them and potentially throwing their family into disarray. They are grown up now (younger than I) and I feel they may be my last hope. It seems now I have also lost their contact details due to moving on. I raised the courage to call the number I had for an NAME RETRACTED this morning after talking 'Polish' talk last night with @ningnangnong and finding out he and @rnabokov have Polish roots. My dreams were troubled last night and I woke thinking 35 years of age is enough and I am proud of who I've become, it's now or never.

    I have also found out today that one of my brothers is named NAME EDITED (or a spelling variation). He is/was a Landscape Architect and at some point in the early 2000's worked for a firm at Southport. This name has been verified via multiple sources.

    If anyone has any suggestions or links, please let me know. I know this is an awkward post for a footy forum, but I respect the wonderful nature of many of the members here, along with their intellect, technical skills and wide-reaching affiliations.

    This jigsaw puzzle of a life is becoming more and more complete. There is just that one central bloody missing piece that either needs to be found or replaced to complete the image.

    I have very complex mixed feelings about this man, but am willing to forgive and move forward. If I think of any other details I will add to this thread.

    Thanks in advance, and apologies if this bored you to death :)

    Maybe others in the BHQ community can use this thread to find lost family, also. It's a worthy cause.

    EDITS: details in bold have been added or modified since finding out more concrete facts.
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2014
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  2. soup

    soup State of Origin Rep

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    Just to add to the details, he sported a thick moustache, had an olive complexion and of a stout build (completely opposite to me). I have one photo of him when he was in his mid to late 20's, roo-shooting (of all things).

    I have scoured Facebook, LinkedIn, Google, White Pages, Ancestory.com, etc. I found many references to the wrong Andrew due to the ages or occupations but potentially relatives. Many were based in Melbourne and I do remember one contact found on white pages in Tasmania that may actually be him. I'll look for that one again, I think I found it last year.

    U
    pdate: called these numbers today, along with some in Victoria, all were disconnected...

    My mother rejected him when I was born as he didn't want to stick around, but did want to help. My mother told him that one day up to when I turned 30, I would likely come looking for him; coincidentally, or not, it was about this time (2009) that he dropped off the face of the planet..

    EDIT: just performed a search on australialookup.com.au and found the old White Pages entry:

    NAME /address EDITED.

    The old landline number was there and for the first time in my life I gathered the gumption to call it. To my surprise it rang, let it ring out and the automated message said "... Currently on another call". I expect the number to have have been redistributed by now so not holding huge hopes but will call again today.

    It is helpful to find his wife's initial again.
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2014
  3. subsbligh

    subsbligh NRL Captain

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    Thought about paying a private investigator at all?
     
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  4. soup

    soup State of Origin Rep

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    I have mate. It is a last resort as I'm not a rich man and all excess cash (not much) is routed towards my immediate family.

    It is a good option though, anyone had any experience with PIs or can recommend one?
     
  5. Oh dude this is going to be an awesome thread. I really hope for the best for this.

    My Grandpa was heavily into the development of Surfers Paradise and Chevron Island in the 70s, and they may have crossed paths, but my Grandfather died a few months ago.
     
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  6. Really brave of you to post this here mate, I'll have a look and see if I can help you out with this one. Most of all, I really hope you do find him, so I wish you the best of luck!
     
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  7. soup

    soup State of Origin Rep

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    I broke down after reading this. Thanks Penny, so close... I fear that at his age it could be a little late also. My condolences for your loss, I also lost a very good grandfather a few months ago.

    EDIT: apologies for the wrong name - fixed.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2014
  8. soup

    soup State of Origin Rep

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    Mate, i so appreciate it. You were in the forefront of my mind when speaking of the technically proficient people that may know a few tricks.
     
  9. Morkel

    Morkel

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    [​IMG]
     
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  10. Morkel

    Morkel

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    In all seriousness though, I don't have much to help with, but I do have some customers who are developers and have been here their whole lives, I'll see if anyone's heard of him.
     
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  11. soup

    soup State of Origin Rep

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    That actually has quite a funny (trivial) relevance; my birthday is May the Fourth hahaha!
     
  12. soup

    soup State of Origin Rep

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    Update: called that number again, and as I thought, it has been redistributed to a business on the Gold Coast.
     
  13. It's my pleasure mate, do you think he could be overseas now?
     
  14. Bucking Beads

    Bucking Beads International Captain

    I hope you find your Dad. I can't even watch the show Find My Family I am in tears every time.
     
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  16. soup

    soup State of Origin Rep

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    It does worry me that he may be, or that he has silenced his listing. It seems that the last sale date for that property was 1998, but then, who knows if that information is up to date. I have now called every number I could find nationwide, including the one (Name Edited) listing, but they are all old listings with all numbers being disconnected. I need to find a new online tool to find more current details.
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2014
  17. soup

    soup State of Origin Rep

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    Thanks mate, I'm bloody hopeless with that show - I fall apart at just seeing it's listing in the TV Guide..
     
  18. soup

    soup State of Origin Rep

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    So an update, there is definitely a son (my half-brother) named NAME EDITED (spelling unsure) confirmed by a tenuous connection I had when I lived at the Gold Coast. He goes by the name of NAME EDITED and works or worked for a landscape architecture company at Southport. Full credit to my old connection, he gave me his mother's phone number about 12 years ago knowing that would be the best way to get back in contact with him - and it worked.

    I have also contacted the Salvation Army as they have a family finding service. Not sure how that will go but anything is worth a shot.

    Thanks to those who helped me discretely, you know who you are. I'm forever in your debt, whether this all works out or not.

    The plot thickens...
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2014
  19. Best thread on BHQ? I think so.

    Unfortunately I can't be of any assistance but just want you to know you have my support and hope it all pans out.

    Keep us posted soupy.
     
    soup likes this.
    Yeah, what BP said.

    Don't think I can do much to help, but good luck with your endeavours mate. Make us all shed a tear!
     
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