Funny commentator quotes

[Broncoman]

The corker from Andrew Voss today got me thinking, what are some funny quotes you've heard from commentators in the past?

Here are some right of the top of my head

- Darryl Halligan thinking that G-Burgess had scored in our game against England at the World Cup last year when he clearly dropped the ball a meter or so short

- Paul Green "It's spanner weather here it tightens the nuts" referring to a chilly night at Shark Park in 2005

- Ray Warren in the ANZAC day game this year "He has the dancing feet of Michael Johnson" referring to RTS's stepping skills. He realised his mistake a few seconds later

- Andrew Voss "He could put his hand down an S-Bend and come up with a gold watch" referring to Benji Marshall's match winning performance against the Warriors in 2011

- Rabs again "I bet every team wished they had a willie this big" referring to Willie Mason's form in 2002

Any others?

 

[Nashy]

What corker from Voss today?

 

[Foordy]

What corker from Voss today?

"A crab in a tank in a Chinese restaurant has a brighter chance than the Raiders"

 

[Brett]

"A crab in a tank in a Chinese restaurant has a brighter chance than the Raiders"

, that is pure gold.

Voss said yesterday too, "Looks like he's just copped a hit in the orchestra stalls there."

 

[Sproj]

Kerry O'Keefe's joke about a frog, anyone remember that? Kerry O'Keefe in general was just hilarious to listen to during he cricket, he'll be missed.

 

[ivanhungryjak]

Kerry O'Keefe's joke about a frog, anyone remember that? Kerry O'Keefe in general was just hilarious to listen to during he cricket, he'll be missed.

It's much funnier when he tells it, though.

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."


Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.


The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.


Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" ?


The bank manager looks back at her and says...


"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

 

[john1420]

I had not heard that

But gosh darn it made me laugh right here at my desk :)

 

[Bull Shark]

heard one late the other night but for the life of me I can't remember which sport - was during that glorious saturday period when there are eight dozen codes all going at once on Fox ... someone did something good and the commentator shouted "and he has exploded in the box!"