The controversial thread

Discussion in 'General Talk' started by Lockysillegitimatechild, Jun 22, 2018.

  1. Morkel

    Morkel

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    I'm posting this here as per the Staff request:

    This is textbook victim blaming. There is absolutely no way she has never done anything to piss Ben off, and yes, grievances in a relationship goes both ways.

    The fact that she is pleading to not have Barba sacked, and that it's just a "private" issue, says to me she is too far gone to be able to look at her relationship subjectively, and needs help. It's quite a common occurrence for women to feel trapped in a domestic violence situation, particularly if they are financially at their mercy. That's not "enabling" them. It's not condoning their violence so long as she gets to maintain a certain lifestyle for her and her kids. She's essentially trapped. It's poor form to say that, because she's not 100% "innocent", she should be attributed any blame for being bashed.
     
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  2. Tom

    Tom NRL Captain

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    If Todd Greenburg says anyone that commits violence against women will be kicked out of the game what happens when there's a fight in the women's NRL?
     
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  3. jd87

    jd87 NRL Player

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    maybe i worded it wrong i DO NOT think she deserves anything she gets. what i meant to say was to me she is also a toxic person and its clearly a toxic as hell relationship. Just with the rubbish she also comes out with of defending him and only seeming to care about money. that to me says she is in this relationship for all the wrong reasons and she should of got the **** out a long time ago if not for her then her kids sake.

    but that's my personal opinions and I have my personal reasons to hate on people who stay in these relationships with kids involved. and i respect those who disagree with me. i just want it noted in no way am i condoning what barber did or has done to her in past.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
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  4. soup

    soup State of Origin Rep

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    I understood what you meant mate. There’s so many shades of grey that looking in black and white misses so much of the picture.
     
    jd87 likes this.
  5. Relax
    and **** having to to tip toe around these apologist wankers. She's a part of it, she's not blameless, she's a contributor. Most of the thinkers know what you were talking about. This dynamic, this scenario, this fucked up paradigm has way more variables than can be expressed in a few simplistic words. She should have been gone years ago but she sees more in Barba than we do. She has seen his greatest strength , his weakest moment, his faults and failings and she continues to love and hate. No one knows how incredible a women's love is, no ond knows how great a man's love is. No one knows the level of intensity that can be and the irrational state that love can produce. There is no human alive, male or female that doesn't know how powerful the inclination to strike out is. The release that violence brings. We are animals constrained. We are only a few thousand years from caveman status. Just because she is the female doesn't mean she is a breed apart, she's a part of our mad condition. She plays a part as he does. I wish we were more.
     
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  6. Sproj

    Sproj

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    Your point was very clear, it’s just that this is a highly emotive thread with people feeling very strongly about issues based on their own personal experiences and often, a lack of tact when expressing their opinion.

    What you said is true and she is enabling him, no one can argue otherwise without admitting they misunderstood your post. This does not mean she is at fault for him bashing her necessarily. It just means exactly what it means, her defense of him and saying it is a “private matter” would imply to him she thinks this is normal.

    They were high school sweethearts, this is quite common in those kind of relationships because whatever happens in them, the couple often thinks is normal and given the history in this particular relationship from what’s reported in the media, it seems this conduct from Ben is part of their ‘normal’ sadly.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2019
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