GCBRONCO
International Captain
- Mar 4, 2008
- 22,242
- 20,569
http://www.couriermail.com.au/sport...y-and-depression/story-e6frepbx-1226361027266
JUSTIN Hodges flashed a stare that only a mother could decipher.
Outwardly, he assured family he was fine; that he couldn't be happier. Inwardly, he was falling apart.
The Broncos and Maroons ace's career was slipping away.
It was midway through 2010.
Hodges had already been diagnosed with depression.
His body, this time in the form of a snapped Achilles tendon, was failing him.
Her heart crumbling, Cheryl Hodges did what any mother would do. She fought for her son - and in the process delivered the wake-up call that ensured Hodges is still around to take his place in the Queensland centres this Wednesday night at Etihad Stadium.
"I know Justin was worried if he would ever be back," says Cheryl, who recalls vividly a time when Hodges seriously questioned if he had the mental fortitude to play again.
"We went through a tough time as a family. Justin wanted to throw it all away after that Achilles injury and I knew down deep that wasn't what he really wanted.
"Justin has loved his football since he was five, football is his life.
"It got to a point where one day we all sat down as a family. His wife Gyanne was there. She has been his real strength.
"We said to him: 'This is not the Justin we know, you've always been positive'. We had a big talk . . . hoping to put him on the right track. If we just left him, he would have given the game away."
Spend 10 minutes watching Hodges in camp with the Maroons ahead of the 2012 series and you don't detect the demons that almost drove him away from football.
He bounds into team breakfasts with the relaxed veneer of a man at peace with himself. During training runs at Melbourne's Xavier College, Hodges is more vocal than usual.
Leadership has never come naturally to Hodges but, five days shy of his 30th birthday, he is now cognisant of his growing stature in league.
This is the Hodges people know; the happy-go-lucky prankster that disappeared before his mother's eyes.
"He was very unhappy after the Achilles injury. He was very depressed, he hit rock bottom," Cheryl says. "He was drinking and it was horrible to see that, he pretty much gave up on football and life. He was running away from everything."
With the fog cleared, Hodges appreciates the Origin stage more than ever. Every interstate game has been hard earned for Hodges.
He made his Maroons debut in 2002 and could easily have racked up 30 matches, but a slew of injuries has restricted him to just 11 games over a decade.
Hodges has spent the past week rooming with his good mate Brent Tate. The pair have traded war stories and counted their injuries. Both have been through the wringer, but have come through the other side better players and people.
"It was hard. People go through those dark times in their life," says Hodges as he reflects on his rollercoaster career.
"I had some great family and friends to support me, but the No.1 thing was always playing footy.
"Everytime I got on the field, that was a happy time for me. It's something I've always loved, is playing footy. I take each game as a blessing now, I love putting on that jersey and running out in front of my friends and family. It still means everything playing Origin, everytime you get picked it's like your first game.
"I have missed a fair few games so every game I always treasure and hopefully I can play a few more."
When he runs on to Etihad Stadium on Wednesday night, Cheryl will crack a smile, knowing the struggle was all worth it.
"I always get nervous when he plays. Just knowing all the injuries he has had, it's hard to watch, but I always stay strong and positive for him," she says.
"I'm really proud of him. "
JUSTIN Hodges flashed a stare that only a mother could decipher.
Outwardly, he assured family he was fine; that he couldn't be happier. Inwardly, he was falling apart.
The Broncos and Maroons ace's career was slipping away.
It was midway through 2010.
Hodges had already been diagnosed with depression.
His body, this time in the form of a snapped Achilles tendon, was failing him.
Her heart crumbling, Cheryl Hodges did what any mother would do. She fought for her son - and in the process delivered the wake-up call that ensured Hodges is still around to take his place in the Queensland centres this Wednesday night at Etihad Stadium.
"I know Justin was worried if he would ever be back," says Cheryl, who recalls vividly a time when Hodges seriously questioned if he had the mental fortitude to play again.
"We went through a tough time as a family. Justin wanted to throw it all away after that Achilles injury and I knew down deep that wasn't what he really wanted.
"Justin has loved his football since he was five, football is his life.
"It got to a point where one day we all sat down as a family. His wife Gyanne was there. She has been his real strength.
"We said to him: 'This is not the Justin we know, you've always been positive'. We had a big talk . . . hoping to put him on the right track. If we just left him, he would have given the game away."
Spend 10 minutes watching Hodges in camp with the Maroons ahead of the 2012 series and you don't detect the demons that almost drove him away from football.
He bounds into team breakfasts with the relaxed veneer of a man at peace with himself. During training runs at Melbourne's Xavier College, Hodges is more vocal than usual.
Leadership has never come naturally to Hodges but, five days shy of his 30th birthday, he is now cognisant of his growing stature in league.
This is the Hodges people know; the happy-go-lucky prankster that disappeared before his mother's eyes.
"He was very unhappy after the Achilles injury. He was very depressed, he hit rock bottom," Cheryl says. "He was drinking and it was horrible to see that, he pretty much gave up on football and life. He was running away from everything."
With the fog cleared, Hodges appreciates the Origin stage more than ever. Every interstate game has been hard earned for Hodges.
He made his Maroons debut in 2002 and could easily have racked up 30 matches, but a slew of injuries has restricted him to just 11 games over a decade.
Hodges has spent the past week rooming with his good mate Brent Tate. The pair have traded war stories and counted their injuries. Both have been through the wringer, but have come through the other side better players and people.
"It was hard. People go through those dark times in their life," says Hodges as he reflects on his rollercoaster career.
"I had some great family and friends to support me, but the No.1 thing was always playing footy.
"Everytime I got on the field, that was a happy time for me. It's something I've always loved, is playing footy. I take each game as a blessing now, I love putting on that jersey and running out in front of my friends and family. It still means everything playing Origin, everytime you get picked it's like your first game.
"I have missed a fair few games so every game I always treasure and hopefully I can play a few more."
When he runs on to Etihad Stadium on Wednesday night, Cheryl will crack a smile, knowing the struggle was all worth it.
"I always get nervous when he plays. Just knowing all the injuries he has had, it's hard to watch, but I always stay strong and positive for him," she says.
"I'm really proud of him. "
