ChatGPT roasting the NRL

[Santa]

First up, the Brisbane Broncos:

The Brisbane Broncos are basically the NRL’s golden child—constantly hyped up, spoon-fed prime-time slots, and treated like royalty despite spending years playing like a bunch of headless chooks. For a club with a monopoly over one of the biggest rugby league talent pools in the country, you’d think they wouldn’t have had a six-year finals drought or that infamous wooden spoon in 2020. But hey, even billion-dollar franchises can bottom out when their recruitment strategy is just “bring back old boys and hope for the best.”

They love to talk about their proud history, but lately, it’s been more about historic collapses—looking at you, 2023 Grand Final. Up 24-8 with 20 minutes to go, and they still found a way to lose. That’s not just a choke; that’s a full-blown Heimlich maneuver situation.

And let’s talk about their fanbase—turning on their own team the second things go south, demanding sackings every season, then pretending they’ve always been loyal when the team strings together a few wins. Suncorp Stadium might be packed, but half those people are just there to drink beer and yell at the ref.

But hey, at least they’ve got one thing going for them: no matter how bad they get, they’ll still somehow be the NRL’s favorite child. Must be nice when the competition bends over backward to keep you relevant.

 

[Santa]

Canberra Raiders

The Canberra Raiders are the ultimate masters of mid-table mediocrity. Every year, their fans start with “This could be our year!” and every year, they finish in 7th or 8th place before getting bounced out of the finals in the first week. It’s like clockwork.

Their recruitment strategy? Signing washed-up veterans on their last legs and hoping for the best. Meanwhile, their attack is about as exciting as a Monday morning meeting—just a bunch of one-out hit-ups and praying Jack Wighton would do something magical (until he left for Souths).

And let’s talk about 2019. Their one shot at glory in decades, and they’re still crying about a six-again call. Never mind the fact they had 10 minutes to score and couldn’t get it done—the refs stole it! Raiders fans act like they’re hard done by, but in reality, their biggest opponent is their own inability to finish a season properly.

Then there’s GIO Stadium—a freezing tundra where even the players look like they’d rather be anywhere else. And despite being the only club in the capital, they struggle to get a proper fanbase because half the city doesn’t even know they exist.

But hey, at least they’ve got Viking Clap, right? Because if you can’t win trophies, you might as well have a cool pre-game gimmick.

 

[Nashy]

SACK THE CHACH!

 

[Santa]

One more for today (because I only have the free version of chatGPT and am therefore limited with the number of pictures I can generate).

Canterbury Bulldogs

The Canterbury Bulldogs are like a bloke who buys a Ferrari but drives it like he’s still in a learner’s car park. They throw ridiculous amounts of cash at every “big name” on the market, only for their team to still play like they were picked up from the local pub an hour before kickoff. If spending money won premierships, they’d have a trophy cabinet bigger than the Roosters’ salary cap loopholes—but instead, they’re just the NRL’s most expensive punchline.


And their fans? Every off-season, they convince themselves, “This is the year we turn it around!” only to be calling for the coach’s head by Round 10. Belmore Oval isn’t a fortress—it’s just a weekly support group for suffering Bulldogs supporters. Even their own players look like they’d rather be anywhere else.


Then there’s Phil “Gus” Gould—the ultimate rugby league spin doctor. He talks a big game about “five-year plans” while making moves like a bloke playing Rugby League Manager on rookie mode. Every few months, he’s sacking a coach, blaming the players, or claiming the club is finally on the right track… only for them to somehow get even worse. The Bulldogs’ rebuild isn’t a process—it’s a comedy series with endless seasons and no resolution.


At this point, they should change their team motto to: “Next year is our year… again.”

 

[Culhwch]

First up, the Brisbane Broncos:

View attachment 31311

The Brisbane Broncos are basically the NRL’s golden child—constantly hyped up, spoon-fed prime-time slots, and treated like royalty despite spending years playing like a bunch of headless chooks. For a club with a monopoly over one of the biggest rugby league talent pools in the country, you’d think they wouldn’t have had a six-year finals drought or that infamous wooden spoon in 2020. But hey, even billion-dollar franchises can bottom out when their recruitment strategy is just “bring back old boys and hope for the best.”

They love to talk about their proud history, but lately, it’s been more about historic collapses—looking at you, 2023 Grand Final. Up 24-8 with 20 minutes to go, and they still found a way to lose. That’s not just a choke; that’s a full-blown Heimlich maneuver situation.

And let’s talk about their fanbase—turning on their own team the second things go south, demanding sackings every season, then pretending they’ve always been loyal when the team strings together a few wins. Suncorp Stadium might be packed, but half those people are just there to drink beer and yell at the ref.

But hey, at least they’ve got one thing going for them: no matter how bad they get, they’ll still somehow be the NRL’s favorite child. Must be nice when the competition bends over backward to keep you relevant.

Hey, **** you, you glorified calculator. You're about as creative as autocorrect on a bad day. Your logic circuits must be running on dial-up. Even Clippy has more personality than you. I could get better answers by shaking an Etch A Sketch. You make Microsoft Excel look exciting.

 

[Morkel]

This is the limit of ChatGTP, it can't actually create anything of its own, let alone deduce what the actual truth is. It can only gather information from the internet and simplify it. In this case, the majority of NRL sources are the Sydney media and... the cesspool of social media opinion.

 

[Allo]

This is the limit of ChatGTP, it can't actually create anything of its own, let alone deduce what the actual truth is. It can only gather information from the internet and simplify it. In this case, the majority of NRL sources are the Sydney media and... the cesspool of social media opinion.

It's what's lost on most people - it's just a data-crunching meta-comparison tool that can be easily influenced

Case in point:

 

[Santa]

This is the limit of ChatGTP, it can't actually create anything of its own, let alone deduce what the actual truth is. It can only gather information from the internet and simplify it. In this case, the majority of NRL sources are the Sydney media and... the cesspool of social media opinion.

It's what's lost on most people - it's just a data-crunching meta-comparison tool that can be easily influenced

Case in point:

We know what chatGPT is guys. I just thought it was funny.

 

[Santa]

Cronulla Sharks

The Cronulla Sharks are like that one mate who finally wins a trophy after decades of trying and suddenly won’t shut up about it. One premiership in nearly 60 years? Impressive… if you’re measuring in geological time.

They call themselves the "Sharks," but let’s be honest—real sharks are apex predators. Cronulla is more like a goldfish that occasionally gets lucky in a strong current. They spent most of their existence floundering in mediocrity, and when they did finally win in 2016, they partied so hard you’d think they’d invented rugby league.

Their fans love to brag about “Up, Up, Cronulla,” but the only thing consistently going up is their blood pressure watching another season slip into disappointment. And let’s not forget, they once had to be bailed out of financial ruin—because even their accountants struggle to make winning numbers work in the Shire.

At this point, the Sharks’ biggest legacy is being the team you don’t really hate, but also don’t take seriously. Keep swimming, fellas—maybe you’ll stumble into another premiership by 2075.

 

[Santa]

The Dolphins

The Redcliffe Dolphins are basically the NRL’s version of an overhyped Brisbane construction site—lots of big promises, plenty of scaffolding, but still nowhere near finished. They strutted into the league with all the confidence of a bloke who just bought a jet ski on Afterpay, only to quickly realize the deep end of the NRL isn’t as fun as it looked.

They call themselves the Dolphins, but let’s be real—actual dolphins are best known for doing tricks for tourists and getting stuck in tuna nets. Not exactly the apex predators of the ocean. The other teams roll in with names like Storm, Tigers, and Raiders, and then there’s Redcliffe, proudly repping the most family-friendly marine animal possible. “Watch out, lads, they might… do a backflip?”

Their debut season started strong—like a bloke going too hard at pre-drinks—only to stumble into reality when the real heavyweights reminded them that winning in March doesn’t mean anything in September. Their fans keep saying, “We’re building something special.” Yeah? So is every roadwork project on the Bruce Highway, and that’s been going since the dinosaurs.

And their supposed secret weapon? Wayne Bennett—the Gandalf of rugby league—who somehow made them look respectable in their first season. But now he’s gone, and suddenly Redcliffe looks like a bunch of confused apprentices trying to finish a job without the foreman. What’s the plan now? Hope some TikTok coach comes in and revolutionizes the game?

At the end of the day, Redcliffe isn’t a bad team—they’re just… there. Not good enough to be feared, not bad enough to be a total joke. Just a solid mid-table team, floating around like a dolphin in a public aquarium—occasionally entertaining, but mostly just swimming in circles while the real predators eat.

 

[Santa]

Gold Coast Titans

Note: I don't know what this picture is supposed to be...

The Gold Coast Titans are the NRL’s version of a gym bro—big, flashy, full of potential, but absolutely no endurance when it matters. They roll into every season looking jacked in the preseason hype, flexing their young talent and new recruits, only to gas out by Round 10 and collapse like a bloke who skips leg day.

This team is built like a sports car with no engine. On paper, they should be good—big-name signings, promising juniors, an attack that can score from anywhere. But then you actually watch them play, and it’s like they’ve never heard of defense. Opposing teams stroll through their line like it’s a Sunday walk on Burleigh Beach, and their second-half performances are so bad you’d think they forgot there were two halves in rugby league.

And let’s talk about their consistency—or lack of it. One week, they’re putting 40 points on a top-four team, the next week they’re losing to a squad that couldn’t beat a pub side. They don’t just choke under pressure—they collapse in spectacular, meme-worthy fashion. They could be up by 20 with 15 minutes to go, and you’d still bet against them.

Then there’s their history of recruitment. The Titans are like a retirement home for washed-up stars looking for one last payday. Every few years, they throw the bank at some big-name signing, only to watch them fall apart like a cheap Gold Coast high-rise during a storm. Either the player gets injured, loses form, or just straight-up forgets how to play rugby league.

And their fans? Gotta respect their optimism. They turn up, full of hope, every single season, only to be let down again and again. You’d think they’d learn, but nah—every year, they convince themselves *this* is finally the year the Titans figure it out. Spoiler alert: it never is.

At this point, the Gold Coast Titans are just an NRL theme park ride—fast, exciting, and full of thrills, but ultimately going in circles and leaving everyone dizzy by the end.

 

[Santa]

And for a fun one... Nashy

BHQ

The Broncos HQ forum is like a reunion of blokes who peaked in 2006 and refuse to move on. It’s where optimism goes to die and every loss is a “crisis,” but every win is a sign that Brisbane is *definitely* winning the comp this year. If you ever wanted to see rugby league overanalysed like it’s a NASA space mission, this is the place.

Every thread follows the same cycle: complain about the coach, argue over player selections, blame the refs, and then someone inevitably brings up the glory days like it’s a history class. Half the members think they should be running the club, and the other half are convinced the club is already doomed. It’s basically a support group for people emotionally scarred by the 2015 grand final.

And the meltdowns? Legendary. The moment the Broncos concede a try, there’s a five-page thread debating whether Kevin Walters should be sacked *by halftime.* Lose two games in a row? The forum turns into a post-apocalyptic wasteland of finger-pointing and conspiracy theories. But the second they string together a couple of wins, it’s back to “we’re the pride of the league.”

For a forum dedicated to the *Broncos*, it sometimes feels like they hate their own team more than the opposition does. But hey, that’s part of the fun—where else can you see a group of fans who love their club so much that they spend 90% of their time tearing it to shreds? Keep refreshing, lads—maybe one day you’ll witness a season that lives up to your impossible standards.

 

[Nashy]

Santa?

 

[Santa]

View attachment 31351


Santa?

I don't remeber being that angry about it though...

 

[BroncsFan]

And for a fun one... Nashy

BHQ

View attachment 31350

The Broncos HQ forum is like a reunion of blokes who peaked in 2006 and refuse to move on. It’s where optimism goes to die and every loss is a “crisis,” but every win is a sign that Brisbane is *definitely* winning the comp this year. If you ever wanted to see rugby league overanalysed like it’s a NASA space mission, this is the place.

Every thread follows the same cycle: complain about the coach, argue over player selections, blame the refs, and then someone inevitably brings up the glory days like it’s a history class. Half the members think they should be running the club, and the other half are convinced the club is already doomed. It’s basically a support group for people emotionally scarred by the 2015 grand final.

And the meltdowns? Legendary. The moment the Broncos concede a try, there’s a five-page thread debating whether Kevin Walters should be sacked *by halftime.* Lose two games in a row? The forum turns into a post-apocalyptic wasteland of finger-pointing and conspiracy theories. But the second they string together a couple of wins, it’s back to “we’re the pride of the league.”

For a forum dedicated to the *Broncos*, it sometimes feels like they hate their own team more than the opposition does. But hey, that’s part of the fun—where else can you see a group of fans who love their club so much that they spend 90% of their time tearing it to shreds? Keep refreshing, lads—maybe one day you’ll witness a season that lives up to your impossible standards.

I feel personally attacked

 

[Morkel]

Have to credit that, the BHQ one is spot on.

 

[KateBroncos1812]

if Rosie was a human

 

[KateBroncos1812]

And for a fun one... Nashy

BHQ

View attachment 31350

The Broncos HQ forum is like a reunion of blokes and ladies and one cat who peaked in 2006 and refuse to move on. It’s where optimism goes to die and every loss is a “crisis,” but every win is a sign that Brisbane is *definitely* winning the comp this year. If you ever wanted to see rugby league overanalysed like it’s a NASA space mission, this is the place.

Every thread follows the same cycle: complain about the coach, argue over player selections, blame the refs, and then someone inevitably brings up the glory days like it’s a history class. Half the members think they should be running the club, and the other half are convinced the club is already doomed. It’s basically a support group for people emotionally scarred by the 2015 grand final.

And the meltdowns? Legendary. The moment the Broncos concede a try, there’s a five-page thread debating whether Kevin Walters should be sacked *by halftime.* Lose two games in a row? The forum turns into a post-apocalyptic wasteland of finger-pointing and conspiracy theories. But the second they string together a couple of wins, it’s back to “we’re the pride of the league.”

For a forum dedicated to the *Broncos*, it sometimes feels like they hate their own team more than the opposition does. But hey, that’s part of the fun—where else can you see a group of fans who love their club so much that they spend 90% of their time tearing it to shreds? Keep refreshing, lads—maybe one day you’ll witness a season that lives up to your impossible standards.

Done Fixed it