Finals Week #3

[Morkel]

This is going to go down to the wire. I might have to do a player positional comparison and judge it from there.

Oh geez, Chambers vs Mitchell.

 

[Jedhead]

Smith might retire if the Storm win and that would also mean the Roosters lost. Alternatively if the Roosters win that means the Storm lose and if O'Sullivan plays we might have a premiership winning half on the books next year. Or he could be broken. I tried to be positive

Good point. If SO'S plays I may lean towards the Rorters.

 

[Jedhead]

I can offer no good reasons.

If pushed, in isolation I would prefer the Storm to beat the Roosters, however if the Storm do win they'll be the first ever team in the NRL era to win premierships back-to-back, and I don't know if I can stomach such cheating, arrogant scum possessing yet another record.

Id hate the Storm to have that bragging right too.

 

[Jedhead]

This is going to go down to the wire. I might have to do a player positional comparison and judge it from there.

Oh geez, Chambers vs Mitchell.

Munster v Keary. I read that Keary had the choice between QLD and NSW for origin and he chose NSW!

 

[Morkel]

Munster v Keary. I read that Keary had the choice between QLD and NSW for origin and he chose NSW!

Not true. The rules forced him to play for NSW, he wanted to represent Qld.

 

[Foordy]

Munster v Keary. I read that Keary had the choice between QLD and NSW for origin and he chose NSW!

Keary has made numerous applications to the ARL to be able to play for his birth state and all have been rejected

 

[Morkel]

Assuming both teams are full strength, and Cronk & Slater both play.

Slater vs Tedesco
Starting off and it's a shit match-up from the start. Slater is a grub but his talent is undeniable. Though no fault of his own, Tedesco just symbolises the Roosters' can't-be-legal cap rorting, loading up on high-priced recruits every year.
Winner: Slater

Vunivalu vs Tupou
Tupou is dumb and stuff, but Vunivalu is a grub.
Winner: Tupou

Chambers vs Mitchell
**** off. Chambers lost us Origin this year and is a flog. Mitchell is undeniably talented and great to watch, but he is being fellated so hard by just about every commentator that he is categorically unlikeable.
Winner: None. They can both **** off.

Scott vs Manu
Curtis Scott, with that try-hard pornstache, has an air of arrogance that can only come from the invincible feeling that one gets while playing for the cheatingest, arrogantiest club around. Manu's alright.
Winner: Manu

Addo-Carr vs Ferguson
Ferguson is a tool, but I've softened on him. Addo-Carr is fast, but he thinks he's faster than The Jet and he's not, so he can kiss my arse.
Winner: Ferguson

Munster vs Keary
Winner: Keary. No justification necessary.

Croft vs Cronk
I don't like Croft's hair. It is too full and bouncy and suggests that his role is so easy playing off Cam Smith that he can have full and bouncy hair and not give it a second thought.
Winner: Cronk

Bromwich vs Waerea-Hargreaves
JWH is one of my most hated players. Bromwich can get away with being named Jesse because he has good footwork.
Winner: Bromwich

Smith vs Friend
Oh dear. Another shitfight. At least Friend hasn't suckered us in to contract negotiations only to finish with "Just Kidding". Twice.
Winner: Friend

Glasby vs Taukeiaho
I'm kind of indifferent towards both. Actually leaning towards Taukeiho, I don't know why, maybe Glasby is too much of a plodder.
Winner: Taukeiaho

Kaufusi vs Cordner
Cordner is very likeable for a NSW captain. I hate myself for it. Kaufusi got torn a new sphincter in Origin so **** him.
Winner: Cordner

Stimson vs Aubusson
I'm giving Stimson the nod here just because I haven't seen much of him so I haven't had the chance to despise him.
Winner: Stimson

Finucane vs Radley
Radley looks like a bizarro 110% scale version of Slater, so **** him.
Winner: Finucane

K Bromwich vs Collins
I feel sorry for KBrom as it must suck being the shorter, fatter, uglier, less-skilled brother.
Winner: K Bromwich

Welch vs Liu
At least this proves that loading up on big stars leaves you short on depth. Who the **** are these guys? Even the name Christian doesn't win me over, so I'm going with a literal toin coss. Heads Welch, Tails Liu.
Winner: Welch.

Asofa-Solomona vs Tetevano
"Big Nelson" is another media darling, and his head is too long.
Winner: Tetevano

B Smith vs Matterson
Don't mind Brandon Smith. Short, chunky, baby face, he doesn't look like a footy player so in this company, a zero is better than a negative.
Winner: B Smith

Result:
Storm 7, Roosters 9. Holy shit, it seems that the only playing group less likeable than the Roosters is the Storm.

**** the Storm, go Roosters.

 

[WASSHHH]

Assuming both teams are full strength, and Cronk & Slater both play.

Slater vs Tedesco
Starting off and it's a shit match-up from the start. Slater is a grub but his talent is undeniable. Though no fault of his own, Tedesco just symbolises the Roosters' can't-be-legal cap rorting, loading up on high-priced recruits every year.
Winner: Slater

Vunivalu vs Tupou
Tupou is dumb and stuff, but Vunivalu is a grub.
Winner: Tupou

Chambers vs Mitchell
**** off. Chambers lost us Origin this year and is a flog. Mitchell is undeniably talented and great to watch, but he is being fellated so hard by just about every commentator that he is categorically unlikeable.
Winner: None. They can both **** off.

Scott vs Manu
Curtis Scott, with that try-hard pornstache, has an air of arrogance that can only come from the invincible feeling that one gets while playing for the cheatingest, arrogantiest club around. Manu's alright.
Winner: Manu

Addo-Carr vs Ferguson
Ferguson is a tool, but I've softened on him. Addo-Carr is fast, but he thinks he's faster than The Jet and he's not, so he can kiss my arse.
Winner: Ferguson

Munster vs Keary
Winner: Keary. No justification necessary.

Croft vs Cronk
I don't like Croft's hair. It is too full and bouncy and suggests that his role is so easy playing off Cam Smith that he can have full and bouncy hair and not give it a second thought.
Winner: Cronk

Bromwich vs Waerea-Hargreaves
JWH is one of my most hated players. Bromwich can get away with being named Jesse because he has good footwork.
Winner: Bromwich

Smith vs Friend
Oh dear. Another shitfight. At least Friend hasn't suckered us in to contract negotiations only to finish with "Just Kidding". Twice.
Winner: Friend

Glasby vs Taukeiaho
I'm kind of indifferent towards both. Actually leaning towards Taukeiho, I don't know why, maybe Glasby is too much of a plodder.
Winner: Taukeiaho

Kaufusi vs Cordner
Cordner is very likeable for a NSW captain. I hate myself for it. Kaufusi got torn a new sphincter in Origin so **** him.
Winner: Cordner

Stimson vs Aubusson
I'm giving Stimson the nod here just because I haven't seen much of him so I haven't had the chance to despise him.
Winner: Stimson

Finucane vs Radley
Radley looks like a bizarro 110% scale version of Slater, so **** him.
Winner: Finucane

K Bromwich vs Collins
I feel sorry for KBrom as it must suck being the shorter, fatter, uglier, less-skilled brother.
Winner: K Bromwich

Welch vs Liu
At least this proves that loading up on big stars leaves you short on depth. Who the **** are these guys? Even the name Christian doesn't win me over, so I'm going with a literal toin coss. Heads Welch, Tails Liu.
Winner: Welch.

Asofa-Solomona vs Tetevano
"Big Nelson" is another media darling, and his head is too long.
Winner: Tetevano

B Smith vs Matterson
Don't mind Brandon Smith. Short, chunky, baby face, he doesn't look like a footy player so in this company, a zero is better than a negative.
Winner: B Smith

Result:
Storm 7, Roosters 9. Holy shit, it seems that the only playing group less likeable than the Roosters is the Storm.

**** the Storm, go Roosters.

Love it!

I can’t stand either team, but the idea of the Storm winning and the circle-jerk that will follow, no thanks.

Best outcome; they both get pinged for cheating (really, would that surprise) and no one wins.

Second best; Roosters win and Smith retires.

Third best; Roosters win.

Final outcome I’ll accept; act of god perpetually postpones the GF and there is no winner.

 

[Renegade]

Would prefer the roosters. Don't want storm going b2b but sooner or later a dynastic team will come along and do 3 in a row, making out latest to go b2b irrelevant

 

[Foordy]

Assuming both teams are full strength, and Cronk & Slater both play.

Slater vs Tedesco
Starting off and it's a shit match-up from the start. Slater is a grub but his talent is undeniable. Though no fault of his own, Tedesco just symbolises the Roosters' can't-be-legal cap rorting, loading up on high-priced recruits every year.
Winner: Slater

Vunivalu vs Tupou
Tupou is dumb and stuff, but Vunivalu is a grub.
Winner: Tupou

Chambers vs Mitchell
**** off. Chambers lost us Origin this year and is a flog. Mitchell is undeniably talented and great to watch, but he is being fellated so hard by just about every commentator that he is categorically unlikeable.
Winner: None. They can both **** off.

Scott vs Manu
Curtis Scott, with that try-hard pornstache, has an air of arrogance that can only come from the invincible feeling that one gets while playing for the cheatingest, arrogantiest club around. Manu's alright.
Winner: Manu

Addo-Carr vs Ferguson
Ferguson is a tool, but I've softened on him. Addo-Carr is fast, but he thinks he's faster than The Jet and he's not, so he can kiss my arse.
Winner: Ferguson

Munster vs Keary
Winner: Keary. No justification necessary.

Croft vs Cronk
I don't like Croft's hair. It is too full and bouncy and suggests that his role is so easy playing off Cam Smith that he can have full and bouncy hair and not give it a second thought.
Winner: Cronk

Bromwich vs Waerea-Hargreaves
JWH is one of my most hated players. Bromwich can get away with being named Jesse because he has good footwork.
Winner: Bromwich

Smith vs Friend
Oh dear. Another shitfight. At least Friend hasn't suckered us in to contract negotiations only to finish with "Just Kidding". Twice.
Winner: Friend

Glasby vs Taukeiaho
I'm kind of indifferent towards both. Actually leaning towards Taukeiho, I don't know why, maybe Glasby is too much of a plodder.
Winner: Taukeiaho

Kaufusi vs Cordner
Cordner is very likeable for a NSW captain. I hate myself for it. Kaufusi got torn a new sphincter in Origin so **** him.
Winner: Cordner

Stimson vs Aubusson
I'm giving Stimson the nod here just because I haven't seen much of him so I haven't had the chance to despise him.
Winner: Stimson

Finucane vs Radley
Radley looks like a bizarro 110% scale version of Slater, so **** him.
Winner: Finucane

K Bromwich vs Collins
I feel sorry for KBrom as it must suck being the shorter, fatter, uglier, less-skilled brother.
Winner: K Bromwich

Welch vs Liu
At least this proves that loading up on big stars leaves you short on depth. Who the **** are these guys? Even the name Christian doesn't win me over, so I'm going with a literal toin coss. Heads Welch, Tails Liu.
Winner: Welch.

Asofa-Solomona vs Tetevano
"Big Nelson" is another media darling, and his head is too long.
Winner: Tetevano

B Smith vs Matterson
Don't mind Brandon Smith. Short, chunky, baby face, he doesn't look like a footy player so in this company, a zero is better than a negative.
Winner: B Smith

Result:
Storm 7, Roosters 9. Holy shit, it seems that the only playing group less likeable than the Roosters is the Storm.

**** the Storm, go Roosters.

you forgot Napa ... that grub will be there

 

[Alec]

Roosters team might be even stronger next year with Chrichton joining too, and a couple of international wingers. They could go back to back if they win this year too, though there would be even more of a circlejerk for them.

 

[Jedhead]

Assuming both teams are full strength, and Cronk & Slater both play.

Slater vs Tedesco
Starting off and it's a shit match-up from the start. Slater is a grub but his talent is undeniable. Though no fault of his own, Tedesco just symbolises the Roosters' can't-be-legal cap rorting, loading up on high-priced recruits every year.
Winner: Slater

Vunivalu vs Tupou
Tupou is dumb and stuff, but Vunivalu is a grub.
Winner: Tupou

Chambers vs Mitchell
**** off. Chambers lost us Origin this year and is a flog. Mitchell is undeniably talented and great to watch, but he is being fellated so hard by just about every commentator that he is categorically unlikeable.
Winner: None. They can both **** off.

Scott vs Manu
Curtis Scott, with that try-hard pornstache, has an air of arrogance that can only come from the invincible feeling that one gets while playing for the cheatingest, arrogantiest club around. Manu's alright.
Winner: Manu

Addo-Carr vs Ferguson
Ferguson is a tool, but I've softened on him. Addo-Carr is fast, but he thinks he's faster than The Jet and he's not, so he can kiss my arse.
Winner: Ferguson

Munster vs Keary
Winner: Keary. No justification necessary.

Croft vs Cronk
I don't like Croft's hair. It is too full and bouncy and suggests that his role is so easy playing off Cam Smith that he can have full and bouncy hair and not give it a second thought.
Winner: Cronk

Bromwich vs Waerea-Hargreaves
JWH is one of my most hated players. Bromwich can get away with being named Jesse because he has good footwork.
Winner: Bromwich

Smith vs Friend
Oh dear. Another shitfight. At least Friend hasn't suckered us in to contract negotiations only to finish with "Just Kidding". Twice.
Winner: Friend

Glasby vs Taukeiaho
I'm kind of indifferent towards both. Actually leaning towards Taukeiho, I don't know why, maybe Glasby is too much of a plodder.
Winner: Taukeiaho

Kaufusi vs Cordner
Cordner is very likeable for a NSW captain. I hate myself for it. Kaufusi got torn a new sphincter in Origin so **** him.
Winner: Cordner

Stimson vs Aubusson
I'm giving Stimson the nod here just because I haven't seen much of him so I haven't had the chance to despise him.
Winner: Stimson

Finucane vs Radley
Radley looks like a bizarro 110% scale version of Slater, so **** him.
Winner: Finucane

K Bromwich vs Collins
I feel sorry for KBrom as it must suck being the shorter, fatter, uglier, less-skilled brother.
Winner: K Bromwich

Welch vs Liu
At least this proves that loading up on big stars leaves you short on depth. Who the **** are these guys? Even the name Christian doesn't win me over, so I'm going with a literal toin coss. Heads Welch, Tails Liu.
Winner: Welch.

Asofa-Solomona vs Tetevano
"Big Nelson" is another media darling, and his head is too long.
Winner: Tetevano

B Smith vs Matterson
Don't mind Brandon Smith. Short, chunky, baby face, he doesn't look like a footy player so in this company, a zero is better than a negative.
Winner: B Smith

Result:
Storm 7, Roosters 9. Holy shit, it seems that the only playing group less likeable than the Roosters is the Storm.

**** the Storm, go Roosters.

Well thought and very objective observations bordering on total sociological rationale. I'm going for the Rorters simply on the strength of this scientific summary. Well done.

 

[Allo]

I don’t think I’ll even bother watching. First two games will be much more interesting

 

[Renegade]

Roosters team might be even stronger next year with Chrichton joining too, and a couple of international wingers. They could go back to back if they win this year too, though there would be even more of a circlejerk for them.

yeah but then I can go for someone else next year if Brisbane don't make it.

 

[Browny]

I’d be happy with this option

 

[broncos4life]

I’d be happy with this option

Yeah, but even it that scenario I bet you Cam Smith is the one that’s left standing.

 

[Old Mate]

Keary has made numerous applications to the ARL to be able to play for his birth state and all have been rejected

So what is the rule now, it’s not your birth state but where you’ve played your senior footy? By that then I guess I’d be forced to play for the blues as well if I was a slightly talented footy player.

 

[Alec]

So what is the rule now, it’s not your birth state but where you’ve played your senior footy? By that then I guess I’d be forced to play for the blues as well if I was a slightly talented footy player.

I think there's like 5 criteria, made by NSW to stop players from playing for who they actually want to represent.