I'm agnostic, not atheist.
I don't know whether there is a God or higher power, but I am absolutely certain he/she/it did not came down from heaven or Valhalla to tell us how to behave, much less commit atrocities to our fellow human beings.
Religion is man made, its many scriptures versions were written by men, quite possibly with the best of intentions, but nonetheless abused by a few to influence the minds of the many, simply through biased interpretation of whatever fiction book they call holy. Those few pray on gullibility of the generally lesser educated and informed people, much in the same way that fascists and/or neo-nazis do.
You're once again blaming the gun, and not the person pulling the trigger. Religion, in this sense, is merely a tool. A way to control people. Repeat something over & over until it becomes truth. Can you see some parallels there with, say, the media? Do you blame the media for exacerbating certain situations, manipulating half-truths, pushing agendas? Or do you blame the people behind it? There is a huge irony here in that the media has become more & more anti-Christian, be it broad-brushing them all as gullible fools who believe in fairys, even going to the extent of portraying them as harmful, as counter-social (eg, grouping anti-vaxers & Christians as one and the same). Even grouping Christians with terrorists, because IS are doing the sort of stuff that Christians long repented for many hundreds of years ago. You know, the exact same manipulation that Christians have been blasted for.
A lot of Christians are dumb. I work with some of them, truth be told. They don't have an understanding for how things work, for cause & effect, so mark it down as beyond human understanding and therefore "God's work". Similarly, there are those that I believe aren't doing Christians any favors in terms of what they preach. Hillsong, for example, preach that if you follow God, you'll get everything you want. The Prosperity Movement. **** that. That's a cult, and is so far from what Christianity should be about.
The ones that never get a mention are the ones that you don't see portrayed in the media, the same way a photo of a footy player doing charity work gets lost amongst the one ones pissing on someone's head (or in their own mouth). There's nothing sensational or click-bait-worthy about people dedicating their time and their money to make the world a better place. Their one principal? Whatever you do, do it with love. Do it for the right reasons. It's these same people who believe in those ten things written on two pieces of stone not because they've been told to, but because each and every one of those ten things has a purpose. They're not to control, they're to protect. In [MENTION=1992]Huge[/MENTION]'s example earlier, these "commandments" become relevant because by following these things, it means you are far less likely to even be put in the situation where the temptation is too great. Where the slippery slope of perving, to actively seeking out pornography, to fantasising about extramarital romantic encounters, to acting out on it, is negated. So when "that" situation does arise, there is the integrity and the discipline to not even give it a second thought. Do I believe that perving should be illegal? Do I think that those that cheat should be stripped naked and stoned to death in the streets? Of course not. I would like to think that we as a civilisation should be capable of controlling our behavior, should have armed ourselves with the knowledge that there are certain temptations that should not be given in to. That writing something off as a "natural human response" is not a good enough excuse. But cheating, and with things like alcohol, with drugs, with gambling, it is painfully clear that some people out there can't help themselves, can't or won't see the dangers, and that is where those 10 things come in to play. Because if you're like me and break one or more of those commandments every day, at least they're there as a warning, as a reminder that there are certain things that can get the better of you and, again, like [MENTION=1992]Huge[/MENTION] said, it just takes one situation and you're over the line before you even realise it. Those that do have that discipline get my respect, and those that ridicule someone who aspires to be a better person, not because they are told to, but because they want to, worry me.
Now, to wind back the preachiness of all that, you want to know something? Those warnings, those morals, those values, those things that sound so out-of-touch, so dated to ever be considered as something that should be upheld as "law", by conversing with you, with the foursome, with the staff and the members that I've met or conversed with, I have a fairly good idea that those same morals are the things deep down that a lot of you hold as important anyway. Despite the fact that a lot of you are anti-Christian, that the vast majority don't believe in a higher power, is irrelevant. Because in essence, you believe in a society that does good by others. That acts in love as opposed to greed or hatred or selfishness. If I didn't think a lot of you were good people I would have ran away a long time ago.
Maybe we have a different interpretation of hard effort.
If I can't enjoy my partner's company, and no longer have romantic feelings for her, I would feel hypocritical hanging around because we've signed a piece of paper. Most hard effort would go into keeping up appearances to the exterior.
A relationship is an exercise in compromises, but I am only willing to go through those compromises for the benefit of someone I care deeply for. Once that feeling is gone, being forced into those compromises will only result in more and more resentment towards one another, which in turn... results in many looking for what they crave somewhere else, ending up on sites like... you guessed it: Ashley Madison!
If it gets to that point, it's been futile for a long time. The "hard effort" I speak of is when you're absolutely dog tired from work, you get home, you just want to go to bed, but you tell your wife to go to bed so you can put the kids to bed, so you can clean the kitchen and tidy up, so you can do all the shit that she selflessly does every night, because you love her. And you can just take out your tiredeness on your work colleagues the next day anyway.
Yup, that's biology at work right there!
See my first answer above.