NRL Players and family members in hot water

[broncos4life]

If he's found guilty of the charges she could then absolutely sue him for damages in a civil proceeding.

I do sincerely doubt that would be the primary motivation in this instance though.

I agree, this would be a huge ordeal to go through for a hopeful pay out from a civil trial years down the track.

 

[Sproj]

Anyone watch Shetland? That tv deals with this kind of situation in seasons 2-3 and what it must be like for a woman to possibly go through this in a trial. Absolutely horrible.

 

[mrslong]

Without invoking the emotional response it usually does around the internet. Money.

Yeah nah. You don't put yourself through this type of thing for money unless you are a legit sociopath. Is she a sociopath? A trial will reveal that you would hope.

 

[mrslong]

I think (off the top of my head) that the percentage of rape cases that are "made up" by the woman as a vendetta is something like 3%.

 

[broncos4life]

I think (off the top of my head) that the percentage of rape cases that are "made up" by the woman as a vendetta is something like 3%.

Yeah 100%. If this goes to trial the ordeal she goes through will be horrific. The defense will rip through every part of her private life to try and destroy her. I cannot for the life of me see anyone putting themselves through that if a possible payout is the only motivation.

 

[Nashy]

I think (off the top of my head) that the percentage of rape cases that are "made up" by the woman as a vendetta is something like 3%.

The stats are skewed, so lets be honest, just like actual rape, the numbers will be higher than any stats can confirm.

I would expect our police to be able to identify that sort of crap before things got too out of hand.

 

[mrslong]

The stats are skewed, so lets be honest, just like actual rape, the numbers will be higher than any stats can confirm.

I would expect our police to be able to identify that sort of crap before things got too out of hand.

Yeah and they're also skewed because, like I said, the people who actually report the rapes are way lower. I have 2 friends that were date raped and didn't report it....they went back to the guys place for a drink, decided they didn't want to have sex, the guy thought that was bullshit, so he raped them. No charges pressed because we all know the comments "yeah, but why did you go back to his place if you didn't want to have sex?" "why did you put yourself in a vulnerable position where you couldn't stop yourself from being raped" "why did you act like you wanted to have sex with him and then change your mind?" Etc, etc.

I also volunteered as a Red Frog at schoolies a number of years ago. I counselled (not the job for me, a volunteer with no actual counselling training) a different girl who was raped every night I was down there. 1 of those was a traditional horror story, a bloke grabbed her walking down the road and dragged her into the bushes and raped her; the other nights were simply a boy and girl hooking up, he wants to have sex - she just wanted to make out or she changed her mind while they were making out, he decided she lead him on and he was entitled to finish the deed. That's 5 nights/5 young girls who have been used and abused. The only one that went to the police was the one where she was dragged off the street.

---
The sad thing is, I'm going to have to teach my daughter not to put herself in a vulnerable position, not to make out with guys she doesn't know, not to go somewhere alone with a guy she doesn't want to have sex with, not to lead a guy on, not to be drunk and alone etc etc.

And I have to teach my son not to rape women - that is, even if a woman wants to have sex with him at 10.00pm, if she changes her mind at 10.01pm that means that he can't force her to have sex with him. Outrageous!

 

[Nashy]

Yeah and they're also skewed because, like I said, the people who actually report the rapes are way lower. I have 2 friends that were date raped and didn't report it....they went back to the guys place for a drink, decided they didn't want to have sex, the guy thought that was bullshit, so he raped them. No charges pressed because we all know the comments "yeah, but why did you go back to his place if you didn't want to have sex?" "why did you put yourself in a vulnerable position where you couldn't stop yourself from being raped" "why did you act like you wanted to have sex with him and then change your mind?" Etc, etc.

I also volunteered as a Red Frog at schoolies a number of years ago. I counselled (not the job for me, a volunteer with no actual counselling training) a different girl who was raped every night I was down there. 1 of those was a traditional horror story, a bloke grabbed her walking down the road and dragged her into the bushes and raped her; the other nights were simply a boy and girl hooking up, he wants to have sex - she just wanted to make out or she changed her mind while they were making out, he decided she lead him on and he was entitled to finish the deed. That's 5 nights/5 young girls who have been used and abused. The only one that went to the police was the one where she was dragged off the street.

---
The sad thing is, I'm going to have to teach my daughter not to put herself in a vulnerable position, not to make out with guys she doesn't know, not to go somewhere alone with a guy she doesn't want to have sex with, not to lead a guy on, not to be drunk and alone etc etc.

And I have to teach my son not to rape women - that is, even if a woman wants to have sex with him at 10.00pm, if she changes her mind at 10.01pm that means that he can't force her to have sex with him. Outrageous!

Your post reads like a male can't ever be put in a position where he's acused of something that didn't occur.

I'm not discussing the horrible things woman go through in reporting these cases. I'm not disputing many men are pigs and that alcohol brings our some pretty fucking horrible traits in some men, especially in the situations like you mention above.

I was answering a question on what possible motive there could be to lie, and I answered it with what I believe the number one factor would be.

 

[Midean]

Yeah and they're also skewed because, like I said, the people who actually report the rapes are way lower. I have 2 friends that were date raped and didn't report it....they went back to the guys place for a drink, decided they didn't want to have sex, the guy thought that was bullshit, so he raped them. No charges pressed because we all know the comments "yeah, but why did you go back to his place if you didn't want to have sex?" "why did you put yourself in a vulnerable position where you couldn't stop yourself from being raped" "why did you act like you wanted to have sex with him and then change your mind?" Etc, etc.

I also volunteered as a Red Frog at schoolies a number of years ago. I counselled (not the job for me, a volunteer with no actual counselling training) a different girl who was raped every night I was down there. 1 of those was a traditional horror story, a bloke grabbed her walking down the road and dragged her into the bushes and raped her; the other nights were simply a boy and girl hooking up, he wants to have sex - she just wanted to make out or she changed her mind while they were making out, he decided she lead him on and he was entitled to finish the deed. That's 5 nights/5 young girls who have been used and abused. The only one that went to the police was the one where she was dragged off the street.

---
The sad thing is, I'm going to have to teach my daughter not to put herself in a vulnerable position, not to make out with guys she doesn't know, not to go somewhere alone with a guy she doesn't want to have sex with, not to lead a guy on, not to be drunk and alone etc etc.

And I have to teach my son not to rape women - that is, even if a woman wants to have sex with him at 10.00pm, if she changes her mind at 10.01pm that means that he can't force her to have sex with him. Outrageous!

Jesus that's sobering to read.
I cant even wrap my head around the idea you have to teach a young man "not to rape".
It should be just the default mindset right?
Glad i don't have kids, this sort of thing would drive me crazy, especially if i had a daughter.
I don't know how you parents do it, you are stronger than me.

 

[Browny]

 

[mrslong]

Jesus that's sobering to read.
I cant even wrap my head around the idea you have to teach a young man "not to rape".
It should be just the default mindset right?
Glad i don't have kids, this sort of thing would drive me crazy, especially if i had a daughter.
I don't know how you parents do it, you are stronger than me.

I’d like to think that I don’t need to teach him not to rape, because his whole life I’ve been telling him no means no....to respect women....to respect himself, but I’m sure when he comes of age his dad will be having a chat to him about how to keep himself out of trouble.
Having kids is the best thing you could ever do! The best of life & love.

 

[mrslong]

Your post reads like a male can't ever be put in a position where he's acused of something that didn't occur.

I'm not discussing the horrible things woman go through in reporting these cases. I'm not disputing many men are pigs and that alcohol brings our some pretty fucking horrible traits in some men, especially in the situations like you mention above.

I was answering a question on what possible motive there could be to lie, and I answered it with what I believe the number one factor would be.

Every single decision I made as a woman “am I safe?”
staying late at work - how will I get home? The train, the walk to my car, the cab...am I safe, am I vulnerable?
Every single time I’m walking alone/on a date/have a delivery at home - am I safe? Am I gonna be raped? Assaulted?

But yeah, the poor guys, worrying of being accused of something.

I was chased on the highway by a father/son one morning when I was 20 something. I was getting on and off the highway and they kept following me, hanging out the window saying disgusting things. Tailgating swerving in front and behind my car slamming on their brakes. I ended up driving towards the police station and they took off.
Another time I stopped at the lights and 2 guys beside me yelled out their window for me to suck their ****, funny thing was hubby was in the Ute behind me lol, he grabbed his hammer and yelled and ran at them - they took off through the red light.

I’ve had a creepy guy harass me waiting for a bus trying to take my photo and want to know where I lived, trying to offer me money for pictures and sit closer and closer to me, tried to hold my hand. he tried to follow me on the bus but the driver stopped him, she could tell I was terrified.

And that’s only a couple of minor incidents i’ve experienced (if you want to know about the stalkers and the work place harassment I’m happy to share).....thankfully I’m less young and less skinny now so blokes don’t want to harass me anymore, been a few years.

Any of you guys ever had a woman accuse you of something you didn’t do? Genuinely interested...
ask the women in your life about their experiences, I bet they will have had more than 5 by the time they’re 25.

My point is “men worrying about putting themselves in vulnerable positions “ is the least they can do.

 

[Midean]

I’d like to think that I don’t need to teach him not to rape, because his whole life I’ve been telling him no means no....to respect women....to respect himself, but I’m sure when he comes of age his dad will be having a chat to him about how to keep himself out of trouble.
Having kids is the best thing you could ever do! The best of life & love.

Yea i know there would be a lot of positives to having kids, i just feel like i would be in a perpetual state of worry if i had kids haha.

 

[Nashy]

Every single decision I made as a woman “am I safe?”
staying late at work - how will I get home? The train, the walk to my car, the cab...am I safe, am I vulnerable?
Every single time I’m walking alone/on a date/have a delivery at home - am I safe? Am I gonna be raped? Assaulted?

But yeah, the poor guys, worrying of being accused of something.

I was chased on the highway by a father/son one morning when I was 20 something. I was getting on and off the highway and they kept following me, hanging out the window saying disgusting things. Tailgating swerving in front and behind my car slamming on their brakes. I ended up driving towards the police station and they took off.
Another time I stopped at the lights and 2 guys beside me yelled out their window for me to suck their ****, funny thing was hubby was in the Ute behind me lol, he grabbed his hammer and yelled and ran at them - they took off through the red light.

I’ve had a creepy guy harass me waiting for a bus trying to take my photo and want to know where I lived, trying to offer me money for pictures and sit closer and closer to me, tried to hold my hand. he tried to follow me on the bus but the driver stopped him, she could tell I was terrified.

And that’s only a couple of minor incidents i’ve experienced (if you want to know about the stalkers and the work place harassment I’m happy to share).....thankfully I’m less young and less skinny now so blokes don’t want to harass me anymore, been a few years.

Any of you guys ever had a woman accuse you of something you didn’t do? Genuinely interested...
ask the women in your life about their experiences, I bet they will have had more than 5 by the time they’re 25.

My point is “men worrying about putting themselves in vulnerable positions “ is the least they can do.

I appreciate you sharing your experience, but I'm not sure the point. It's like it's a competition between who is more hard done by when it comes to shit rape culture.

Nothing you've said above negates the fact that there has been, and there will be, more people accused of rape, who didn't rape anyone. Your bad experiences don't negate other people just because you feel a certain way about it.

To answer your question without going into detail, I only know of two. One accused by a female, and one accused by a teenage child of his own.

The fact this somehow turned into a discussion point based on me saying money could be the reason for someone making it up, should prove just how absolutely and utterly toxic this shithas become.

 

[Midean]

Every single decision I made as a woman “am I safe?”
staying late at work - how will I get home? The train, the walk to my car, the cab...am I safe, am I vulnerable?
Every single time I’m walking alone/on a date/have a delivery at home - am I safe? Am I gonna be raped? Assaulted?

But yeah, the poor guys, worrying of being accused of something.

I was chased on the highway by a father/son one morning when I was 20 something. I was getting on and off the highway and they kept following me, hanging out the window saying disgusting things. Tailgating swerving in front and behind my car slamming on their brakes. I ended up driving towards the police station and they took off.
Another time I stopped at the lights and 2 guys beside me yelled out their window for me to suck their ****, funny thing was hubby was in the Ute behind me lol, he grabbed his hammer and yelled and ran at them - they took off through the red light.

I’ve had a creepy guy harass me waiting for a bus trying to take my photo and want to know where I lived, trying to offer me money for pictures and sit closer and closer to me, tried to hold my hand. he tried to follow me on the bus but the driver stopped him, she could tell I was terrified.

And that’s only a couple of minor incidents i’ve experienced (if you want to know about the stalkers and the work place harassment I’m happy to share).....thankfully I’m less young and less skinny now so blokes don’t want to harass me anymore, been a few years.

Any of you guys ever had a woman accuse you of something you didn’t do? Genuinely interested...
ask the women in your life about their experiences, I bet they will have had more than 5 by the time they’re 25.

My point is “men worrying about putting themselves in vulnerable positions “ is the least they can do.

I cant even imagine this, im a 40 year old guy, i walk to the gym at midnight and don't give it a second thought, most of my working life has been night work and I've always walked to and from work in the wee hours of the night/morning and never once felt worried or unsafe.

It is disheartening to know i live in a world where women don't feel safe walking alone after dark.
In regards to your question, yes, i was once accused of rape by a woman in my early 20's.
She never went to the police but told our circle of friends that me and another guy had assaulted her (we didn't). Luckily we both had witnesses and alibis for the time she said she had been assaulted and we later found out she had a history of making these accusations. ( she had a drug problem and mental illness).
It was a harrowing experience to say the least as you immediately worry about the mud that will stick to your name with those accusations, let alone any legal ramifications if we didn't have evidence to support us.

 

[tommy]

Had a friend that was accused of rape after consensual sex. She wanted a relationship but he didn’t.

 

[Organix]

Every single decision I made as a woman “am I safe?”
staying late at work - how will I get home? The train, the walk to my car, the cab...am I safe, am I vulnerable?
Every single time I’m walking alone/on a date/have a delivery at home - am I safe? Am I gonna be raped? Assaulted?

But yeah, the poor guys, worrying of being accused of something.

I was chased on the highway by a father/son one morning when I was 20 something. I was getting on and off the highway and they kept following me, hanging out the window saying disgusting things. Tailgating swerving in front and behind my car slamming on their brakes. I ended up driving towards the police station and they took off.
Another time I stopped at the lights and 2 guys beside me yelled out their window for me to suck their ****, funny thing was hubby was in the Ute behind me lol, he grabbed his hammer and yelled and ran at them - they took off through the red light.

I’ve had a creepy guy harass me waiting for a bus trying to take my photo and want to know where I lived, trying to offer me money for pictures and sit closer and closer to me, tried to hold my hand. he tried to follow me on the bus but the driver stopped him, she could tell I was terrified.

And that’s only a couple of minor incidents i’ve experienced (if you want to know about the stalkers and the work place harassment I’m happy to share).....thankfully I’m less young and less skinny now so blokes don’t want to harass me anymore, been a few years.

Any of you guys ever had a woman accuse you of something you didn’t do? Genuinely interested...
ask the women in your life about their experiences, I bet they will have had more than 5 by the time they’re 25.

My point is “men worrying about putting themselves in vulnerable positions “ is the least they can do.

That sounds dreadful but sadly 100% believable. Boys are pretty dumb and often think that stupid stuff is funny. We've gotten away with it for a long time. I'm sure there are many reasons for this behaviour.

Then you have weirdos doing really creepy stuff.

Your final sentence is an excellent point.

I once thought you were a guy named Mr. Slong (schlong[emoji28]), but some of your posts corrected me of that mistake. Unfortunately, I can't unsee it! [emoji31]

 

[mrslong]

That sounds dreadful but sadly 100% believable. Boys are pretty dumb and often think that stupid stuff is funny. We've gotten away with it for a long time. I'm sure there are many reasons for this behaviour.

Then you have weirdos doing really creepy stuff.

Your final sentence is an excellent point.

I once thought you were a guy named Mr. Slong (schlong[emoji28]), but some of your posts corrected me of that mistake. Unfortunately, I can't unsee it! [emoji31]

ha ha, I deliberately have a unisex name because unfortunately in the online environment you still get harrassed (shocking but true). I've been told by an irate storm fan that he would enjoy raping me because I dared to say that Cam Smith is a grub.

So mrslong with the giant dong is a nice beard. Lol!

Have very rarely found any one on BHQ to be misogynistic, maybe someone once might have said something but that dude was a total dick to everyone and quickly got banned. I'm actually surprised there are no other females here anymore since it's actually a pretty safe online space.